Happy dog!

Happy dog! Happy dog!

There he was, walking with his family, with a stick in his mouth. Tail wagging, sun shining. How much better could it get?

No worries except who will pet him next. Doesn't have to go to work - his work is being the source of unconditional love, and an occasionaly bark at the door. A tummy rub, a skritch behind the ear is all the payment he requires.

I get so mad at stories of people abusing animals. Locking them up, improper feeding, little or not water, outside in all weather. I never understood how they could do this to another living creature-any living creature-but expecially to a dog. A dog who will love you no matter what. A dog who looks to you for basic sustinenance and an occasional skritch. A dog who will protgect you, even a little dog will protect you.

I always felt the punishment for these people should match the crime. Leave them outside with little or not shelter in all weather, with dirty water and no food. Chain them up so they can't get to anything. But, that is considered cruel. What do they call it for the dog?

Happy dog! Happy dog! I'm always glad to see a happy dog. It brightens the worst day.

They don't know if you're rich or poor. They only know they love you.

That ATM story

This is the version that got submitted to the Smithsonian Last Page in December 2005 - no response yet. But they say don't expect one unless they're going to publish. There's still hope, maybe...

It’s grocery night; the ATM decides to make it worse. It refuses to release money I know is in my account. “Exceeds Daily maximum” reads the screen. How is that possible when I haven’t used the card in a week?

Somewhere in a never-ending maze of computer lines, there are ATM trolls laughing at me through the money slot.

When their homes were designed, these electronic imps decreed confusion shall reign. Some have separate keys for which account, what function, what to do, and where to go. Should I hit the button above or below the arrow on the screen? (They never seem to match up.) Perhaps, it’s the keys below the screen. Above the screen? Just hit the screen?

Go to a different ATM and you’ll just be more confused. Sometimes, you have to put in the decimal, sometimes not. If I want $20.00, hitting 2-0-0-0 might put in a request for $2,000.00. “Exceeds Daily Maximum.” Of course, hitting 2-0 might be a request for 20 cents. “Amounts in $20.00 Increments Only.” Does a session end with “OK,” “Cancel,” or a two-by-four to the access slot?

Another grocery night. A windy, spring day. A drive-up ATM. A recipe for disaster. The card goes in. The money comes out and blows under the car. I have to run over the bills before getting out of the car to pick them up, all the while praying they don’t fly away.

Have you noticed the “drum roll” when the ATM counts out your money? The electronic “little people” living in the ATM are not counting the bills. It’s a celebration! They have allowed you to have your money.

Receipts have messages ranging from “Have a nice day,” to “Go away, you bother me.” The receipt can give a detailed description of the account and transaction or a message similar to “Yes, you did something and we may tell you what it was on your statement.” (Please note: the friendliness of the ATMs and their messages is not directly related to the friendliness of the tellers in the bank.)

Keep your card secure, we’re told. Don’t use a Personal Identification Number (PIN) which can be easily guessed if your card is lost or stolen, we’re warned. I once came up with one so safe, I forgot it. The result? My card became a mid-day snack for the ATM, gobbled up with a vengeance.

Deposits are another adventure not for the faint of heart. Some ATMs give a slip to put into the envelope; some don’t. I don’t use the deposit function anymore because I’m always afraid it’s really a shredder. They seem gobble up the envelope as though they haven’t eaten a card in months.

Machines are everywhere - banks, grocery stores, malls, airports, railroad stations, work, everywhere. The various national networks allow you to get confused all across the country using the same card, forgetting the same PIN and, hopefully, hearing the same drum roll. I expect to hear about a home ATM soon. Although, would you have to go to another ATM to fill it?

Why do I use these metal monsters? I’m a glutton for punishment. Or, like millions of other working people, I just can’t get to my bank when it’s open to wait in line to get $25.00. Actually, at the ATM, you’ll have to get out $30.00 or $40.00. Remember? “Amounts in $10.00 or $20.00 increments.” No $5.00 except in the rare case of a rogue ATM.

Some machines are slow, some fast. Some, I’ve noticed vary from transaction to transaction. I imagine it depends on how many cards it has been fed by people forgetting their PINs.
I’ve lived this scenario many times – I put my card into an ATM whose screen appears normal. It asks for my PIN, I oblige. The machine goes through its little dance of noises for what seems an eternity. Finally, “Cannot Complete Transaction At This Time” appears. Luckily, this ATM is not hungry, so my card is spit out. The ATM screen displays the message I wish had displayed before: “Temporarily Out of Order”

Perception is everything

I've been instructed to move someone to the front desk in our office and I'm having a problem with it. Why? It is the reception desk and this is not the receptionist.

Our office doesn't have a receptionist. We tried it for a while, but as a technology company, we need technical people more than someone to meet/greet/answer phones/run errands. It would be helpful many times, but there just isn't enough work for someone without major technical skills to do here.

I don't want to move this person there.

It's not me, but it happened to me at a former job. It was one of the many reasons I left. They didn't understand that it was a problem either. Trying to explain this to the person who sits in the corner office is difficult. They think I'm being difficult.

I don't think they're trying to get rid of this person. I just think they're not clear on the meaning of the location. Perception, like location in real estate, is everything.

Whatever happened to jingles?

I learned to love hot dogs and spell BOLOGNA from Oscar Meyer. I wanted to teach the world to sing and drink a cola with them (though I did prefer Pepsi to Coke).

Now it's the Rolling Stones and Beatles - songs from my youth

Maybe the advertisers figure the younger people don't know the songs, so it's new.

I want jingles to get stuck in my head again.

(Original in notebook 4/9/06)

Notes from a breakfast last week...

I've noticed I have a shrill voice

I'm frustrated by keeping my voice down/my thoughts in
Need to speak my mind more to calm it

Martha Beck article in Oprah April 2006 - how did something so poorly written get into a national magazine? Maybe I can do this...

Test drive my new self
Concept - but save family for last if ever. "Much self criticism stems from growing up around poeple who wouldn't or couldn't love you and it's likely they still can't or won't." Why? Whis is this OK to do to kids? not overdo it but why not let kids know everyone is pretty/beautofil/handsome/cute in their own way?

Just some ideas to think about

How do you eat everything you're 'supposed' to in one day?
(Nutrition claims, fiber, vitamins, 'women's issues', soy, etc.)

When (and why) did my TV change?
Travel Channel shows World Poker tour more than world tours
Bravo - from Arts to who knows what
Arts & Entertainment to Crime and Punishment
The Learning Channel to The Fix-it Channel (rooms, clothes) and tatoos and small people
Whatever happened to CBS Arts channel (Bravo or A&E?)

Start the day with a healthy breakfast

I try, oh how I try. But there was almost nothing real in there. EggBeaters (fake eggs), Smart Beat cheese (fake cheese), Smart Balance margarine (fake butter). The coffee is real - some things I won't skimp on - and the bread (artisan rolls, yum). So good, so healthy. So of course I end with a Pop Tart.

Almost every meal is like this - good food, good intentions, bad ending.

(Original in notebook dated 3/28/06)

This isn't how it was supposed to be...

Seven years of college, including nights and weekends while working full time, two degrees and I'm a glorified secretary.

This isn't what I was promised.

Study hard, get good grades, work hard, put in the hours. You'll get ahead and be justly compesentated.

When does it start?

I've been working since I was 16 - worked through college to pay for school. Started working full time within a month of finishing undergraduate work and even found work here and there after being laid off during the miserable 90's. And I'm still in the same boat?

When do the promises and rewords for hard work start kicking in?

(Original draft in notebook - 3/23/06)

Initial post

OK, here we go.

I need a place to write and collaborate with others who also want to write. I'm starting small, but hope this will grow into a circle of people who feel they MUST write to keep the little shred of sanity they retain.

Let's try this for a whle and see how it goes.